The Thing about Ribs Is That They Are Not Proper Material for a Sandwich
Dear Memphis,
I would like to bring to your attention a few matters concerning the concept of a sandwich. A sandwich is a 100% edible food item consisting of two primary components: (1) two or more units of bread and (2) sandwich contents enclosed within the bread units, all of which, I stress, should be fully edible by ordinary human consumers. One should not have to worry that part of one’s sandwich will turn out to be wholly inedible, as would be the case with, say, a “sandwich” of tuna on a bun of concrete.
Like tuna on concrete, the stacks of barbecue ribs occupying the content portion of the “rib sandwiches” commonly served in your city arguably violate one of the central principles of sandwich formation. One is forced to disassemble one’s “sandwich” and eat its parts separately.
Such measures, it is true, are adequate to avoid damage to one’s teeth and internal organs as might otherwise result from the attempted eating of the “rib sandwich.” But there are several drawbacks to this approach. First, it undermines the unity of the sandwich, making it rather a meal of bread and ribs. And second, it undermines the utility of the bread buffer. You see, a core benefit of the sandwich form is that the bread shields the sandwich user from certain secondary attributes such as stickiness or greasiness or other non-gustatory properties of the sandwich contents.
A simple change of nomenclature would probably suffice to address these concerns. Perhaps a new city ordinance could achieve this goal and also require that every restaurant have at least one item on the menu that is green, preferably from a plant.
Comments
3 Responses to “The Thing about Ribs Is That They Are Not Proper Material for a Sandwich”
Leave a Reply
About Me
- I write this blog.
-
My twitter feed:
[...] happens when a lawyer is served a sandwich that is, well, not quite a sandwich? Jim Hufford explains. It’s too much fun to spoil with a quote and I’d end up reposting the whole thing [...]
I COMPLETELY agree with this. Rib sandwiches are too gross.
I remember getting a bbq chicken sandwich from a roadside stand in Chattanooga once, and when he handed me my purchase it had a bone sticking out. I lifted up the top bun to see he had given me a very large drumstick in between two pieces of bread. I alternated bites of chicken and bun w/ bbq sauce on it. It tasted great, but it was not a sandwich. (the reason I wanted a sandwich was because I was walking and wanted to be able to eat and walk at the same time. It ended up being difficult.)